🌈kosmender’s Impressive Videogame Feats
💭 NOTE: kosmender has accomplished some incredible feats in videogames. As him, I can state definitively that I don't undertake these challenges in a spirit of pride or competition against other players; I like to think we're all on the same team, and that each time these bosses fall, we collectively experience a little Obi Wan surge of good Force vibes. Sometimes it just feels nice to go full John Wick on some bad guys together, right?
My guiding philosophy when attempting something this difficult (specifically, the no-damage Dead Cells and Cuphead) is to take it seriously. In my show, I'll occasionally make an off-hand joke about being almost 40 years old yet working in my pajamas and all that—those are just jokes. I can assure you I wouldn't be capable of doing the kosmender stuff if I didn't take it seriously.
Here's the thing: I don't see playing through a 5BC run of Dead Cells without receiving any damage as playing a videogame at a high level. I see it as successfully enduring and reacting to an hour-long sensory gauntlet that requires a meditative focus to weather. The only other thing that compels me to draw from so deep and obscure a well inside myself is my love for my family and friends.
It's not about perfection—I've never played a perfect run of Dead Cells (or any other game) in my life. It's about precision, and making sure that none of the mistakes I make—and I will make plenty—prove fatal. It's about finding that elusive sweet spot midway between trusting your instincts and staying on high alert for the unknown. I've found slipping into that Extremely Balanced Zone to be useful for more than just videogames.
So that's it. I sometimes try exceptionally hard stuff in games because it's fun, it's good for the soul, it feels awesome to succeed, and it's a powerful exercise in believing you'll make it to the light at the end of the tunnel. Enjoy.
📃Table of Contents
🚩 Heads up! These links will take you to videos on kosmender’s YouTube channel.
💀 Dead Cells
🌈 5BC cursed-sword victories (full runs)
18. “Goodbye, Darkness” - 46:44
(brutality, cursed sword, bloodthirsty shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
17. Nasty New Malaise - 45:26
(brutality, cursed sword, legendary punishment shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
16. “Bad Seed Boulevard” - 1:06:20 (feat. Arboretum, Morass, and Mama Tick)
(tactics, cursed sword, thunder shield, tesla coil, great owl of war)
15. “The Hot Dog Run” - 48:34 (feat. every single timed door and kill door)
(brutality, cursed sword, bloodthirsty shield, corrupted power, fire grenade)
14. Lucky Number Fourteen - 55:44
(brutality, cursed sword, bloodthirsty shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
(brutality, cursed sword, bloodthirsty shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
12. 1.9 Beta Run
(brutality, cursed sword, bloodthirsty shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
(tactics, cursed sword, knockback shield, great owl of war, lacerating aura)
10. Lost to time
(VOD gone from the ether)
9. 66.6% of a Hat Trick – second 5BC cursed victory of that day’s show
(brutality, cursed sword, legendary spiked shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
8. 33.3% of a Hat Trick – first 5BC cursed victory of that day’s show
(tactics, cursed sword, parry shield, great owl of war, corrupted power)
(tactics, cursed sword, hokuto’s bow, great owl of war, corrupted power)
(brutality, cursed sword, frontline shield, fire grenade, lacerating aura)
(tactics, cursed sword, legendary punishment shield, great owl of war, corrupted power)
(tactics, cursed sword, legendary greed shield, great owl of war, corrupted power)
3. Lost to time
(VOD gone from the ether)
2. Lost to time
(VOD gone from the ether)
1. Lost to time
(VOD gone from the ether)
🍕 5BC kosCore Challenge Series
kosCore vol. I: Starter Weapons + Empty Skill Slots (1:08:51) – first attempt
(brutality, rusty sword, wooden shield, empty, empty)
kosCore vol. II: Two Shields + Empty Skill Slots (~1:45:00) – first attempt, flawless Giant
(survival, thunder shield, bloodthirsty shield, empty, empty)
🌼 5BC Plain Double Shield Runs
Two Shields + No Flask Sipping - first attempt
(survival, bloodthirsty shield, spiked shield, death orb, giant’s whistle)
(survival, spiked shield, bloodthirsty shield, giant’s whistle, power grenade)
🎨 Cuphead
🥚 NO DAMAGE
“Fight the Nightmare” - 1:08:25
100% completion of fresh save file + no damage taken + one sitting
🌭 Expert Mode
Perfect Scores – Full Run – no deaths
[expert mode] all perfect scores (S & P), no deaths
😨 Darkest Dungeon
🌌 Excrutiatingly Close Calls (Bloodmoon)
“A Cacophony of Stress” – Belly of the Beast
(darkest dungeon segment 3 of 4 gets intense)
“Occult Supervision Required” – 16-Pounder Fight
(16-pounder fight comes down to the wire)